29 Reasons Why You Should Never EVER Consider Setting Foot In Manchester
A disgusting place – its people should be ashamed
Manchester. It’s a pretty poor excuse of a city really.
Lonely Planet named it in the top 10 cities to visit in the world this year. But why? Really, it’s just a bit of a mess and it’s pretty dead.
We’d advise you to just stay at home instead. You’ll probably get more excitement from watching the grass grow in your front yard.
1. Well, for a start it just looks terrible
2. Take for example the Great Northern Warehouse – utterly deserted and left to ruin
3. I mean, it's not exactly Hollywood material, is it?
4. Don’t even get me started on those hideous canals
5. There's just no escaping this concrete jungle
6. And having the Peak District on your door step is just plain irritating
7. The night life is still incredibly dull
8. There’s clearly no culture to speak of at all, in fact
9. And sport? What sport?
10. The music scene is quite simply non-existent
I mean, who even ARE Oasis? Or The Smiths. Or The Stone Roses. Or Joy Division. Or New Order. Or Everything Everything.
11. And Coronation Street isn’t exactly a big deal, right?
12. And I wouldn’t bother looking through the markets. Not much to see there.
13. The restaurants aren't up to much either. The 'curry mile'? Pah. Never even heard of it.
14. Nor is there anywhere nice to go for a drink
15. Or do your shopping
16. Especially at Christmas
17. Rainy day options are strictly limited
18. And the city hasn’t really achieved anything
19. The buskers are nothing to write home about
20. In fact, across the board there’s no imagination to speak of
21. And too many DAMN hipsters
22. The people are so unwelcoming
23. While there’s nothing worse than having too many coffee shops to choose from
Each of them equally lovely and relaxing. UGH.
24. The weather, of course, is just vile
25. And the graffiti! Pure vandalism, nothing more.
26. And nobody's figured out what the hell to do with all those old buildings
27. So obviously it’s completely irrelevant that the BBC moved here
28. And that it’s called the ‘Capital of the North’
29. Basically, just don’t bother coming. It’s totally not worth it