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13 Reasons Why January Is The Bloody Worst Month Of The Year

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After delightfully lazy, food-filled holidays, many of us are only starting back to work tomorrow and it’s a grim thought.

While one of the Lovin team has already written about why January isn’t that bad, I’m gonna have to disgree in a big way.

January is in fact the worst. Why, you say? Glad you asked…

1. You experience severe chocolate withdrawal symptoms

You’ve spent the last two weeks gorging on selection boxes, Quality
Street and every chocolate biscuit you could get your hands on from the
shitty tins you got received from extended family.

How can you be expected to just resume an ordinary life now?  

Sweets

2. You feel fat as fuck

Your bodily self-destruction over the holidays has resulted in an inability to climb stairs without needing a breather.

Heavy Breathing

READ: These Are The Superfoods You Need To Know About In 2017

3. The gym is packed

The season of goodwill quickly evaporates as you set foot in your
local gymnasium and immediately hate every other inconsiderate fucker in
the place. 

Gym In January

4. No money

You made it rain like a Rockefeller over Christmas only to discover
that you can no longer afford to pay the rent and that you’ll be
subsisting solely on cold tins of beans this month.

I Spent All My Money

5. You’ll be incredibly bored but no one wants to do anything

See ‘No money’.

Bored

READ: How To Cope With January’s Return To Reality

6. It’s dark when you get up and dark when you get home

Hello Darkness

7. The weather is shit

Rain, snow, hailstones, wind. January has it all.

Teresa

8. Eating healthy SUCKS

To atone for the calorific sins of Christmas you’ve had to go the complete other way and you no likey.

Smashing A Dinner Plate

READ: The Healthy Breakfast Smoothie That Fills You Until Lunchtime

9. You’re forced to evaluate all your life’s problems, attempt to solve them…

… And quickly realise you’re a lost cause.

Pathetic Loser

10. You keep forgetting it’s not 2016 anymore

11. You die a little when you have to put away the Christmas decorations

Just a little longer, eh? Please?!

Waterworks New

12. It’s no longer acceptable to have chocolate for breakfast

At Christmas time there’s just so much ambient chocolate around the place that the only way you could possibly get through it all is to allow yourself to eat it at any time of day or night.

Unfortunately, this is not socially acceptable at any other time of year. 

Love Chocolate

READ: Every Single Rose, Celebration, Quality Street And Miniature Hero – Ranked From Worst To Best

13. You’ve to return to work after a lengthy period of blissful laziness

You had a good run over the Christmas break. Laughs were had, food
was enjoyed, pyjamas were worn beyond any reasonable degree of
cleanliness, but now you must return to reality.

Fuckin’ January.

Robin Crying

READ NEXT: 12 Reasons Why January Isn’t So Crap After All

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