There can be no doubt about it – there's only one city in England worth living in, being in or indeed existing in.
Honestly, the only difficult thing about this list was cutting it off at just 33 reasons... but we reckon you'll come away convinced.
1. Trams over the tube
In London you have to go underground, swelter, and get squashed against hundreds of people. In Manchester you get a gorgeous view and have plenty of space.
Well, sometimes anyhow...
2. The best football teams going
Two of the biggest in the world, and with recent signings in mind only heading in one direction – no matter which side of the divide you're on.
3. The music scene
Stone Roses, Oasis, Chemical Brothers... look, we're not even going to list them all, we don't have all... Joy Division, The Smiths... day.
4. Being able to walk most places to meet a friend
All the feeling of a huge city but the practicality of a smaller one.
5. The cost of living is way more affordable
About 40% less, according to most surveys and data.
6. The Warehouse Project
The best clubbing experience in the UK – and right on your doorstep.
7. The Northern Quarter beats Shoreditch hands down
Relaxed, easy to get to and packed full of amazing bars, restaurants, boutiques and art, with only a fraction of the pretentiousness.
8. You're close to LOADS of other great towns and cities
If you do happen to get bored of Manchester, a quick drive or train journey will take you to loads of different places in the area.
In London, you'd be driving for an hour and still be in... London.
9. You can fly to just as many places, but the airport is way more manageable
A truly international hub without the insane queues, confusion and ridiculous transport arrangements for both airports down south.
10. The accent
So much love.
11. The villages around the city
Only minutes from the city centre are dozens of little villages that add so much diversity and charm to Manchester. London has its suburbs, for sure, but they're all swallowed into a mass of suburban sprawl.
12. The Christmas markets
As good as any in the world, meaning people come from all over the country to visit them.
13. The Curry Mile
They have great curries in London too, obviously, but this is famed all over Europe.
14. Affordable public transport like The Magic Bus
What other city in the world would have something called "The Magic Bus"?
15. Cheaper pints
There are rumours going around that the £6 pint is a thing in London. You'd never get away with that in Manchester.
16. You can talk to people on public transport and in shops
And they're sound too.
17. Everybody knows Corrie is better than Eastenders
In the battle of the soaps there is only one winner.
18. Everything London has is here anyway
Uber and Deliveroo, all the major shops and brands – and all with fewer crowds.
19. The BBC's operation here is getting bigger all the time – and they can't be wrong
If you don't trust Auntie Beeb, who can you trust?
20. You get to hang out in the most beautiful library in the world, every day
Reading a book is great and all, but getting to read it here is something else.
21. History is all around you in the architecture
The signs of the industrial revolution are still everywhere, perfectly mixed with the modern buildings.
22. Chip butties
No explanation needed.
23. Manchester nightlife kicks London's ass hands down
The people are more relaxed, the music louder, the alcohol flows more freely and the nights out ultimately turn out to be so much more epic.
24. The pubs are just way nicer
Hundreds of them in all shapes and sizes, with a warmth and charm that you'll never get down south.
25. You'll be able to afford a really nice place to live
You won't have to be a millionaire to afford a nice two-bedroom apartment in Manchester.
26. Proper countryside is never far away
Jump in the car and you'll be out in the rolling fields in no time.
27. Manchester has a huge student population for a reason
The universities are amazing, the rent is cheap and the stuff to do when not studying is legendary.
28. Proper gravy
On chips, with pies and on anything else that needs it.
29. A proper brew
Everybody knows that a good cup of tea tastes better made in Manchester than London. That's just a fact.
People come from all over the world to enjoy Pride in this great city; a more intimate and homely affair than the gigantic London affair.
31. The canals
Perfect for a long walk, to sit beside during the summer or to embark on a booze cruise.
32. Above all else, though, Manchester is about the amazing people
Friendly. Funny. Creative. Resolute.
33. When it comes to Manchester versus London there can only be one winner.
It was never in doubt.