This Is The Biggest, Filthiest Feed You'll Get In Manchester For Less Than A Tenner
Warn your arteries...
I stepped into Affleck's fast-growing-in-fame Black Milk Cereal Dive earlier today to see what all the fuss is about.
Now insta-envy has been edging me closer and closer to trying the gaff for months and this morning I thought sod it - today's the day I lose it (my Black Milk virginity, that is.)
What's with the name?
The name of the place is a little odd, unless they're referring to the dark chocolate sauce streaming down the glasses of many a 'freakshake' (jazzed up milkshake topped with marshmallows, brownies and other diabetes-inducing treats) I couldn't see much black about it.
Turns out, the name's inspired by their most unusual milk - the squid ink variety. It’s jet black, and Black Milk offer a salted caramel version of it, but its availability is limited so check ahead.
Specialising in extravagant milkshakes and cereals typically served in half an Easter egg - white, milk or dark chocolate (who doesn't love an edible bowl) the place's offering is outrageous so if you're on a diet or monitoring your sugar levels run far, far away from this Hansel and Gretel-esque den.
Having decided that Winter has well and truly descended in Manchester however (even Zippy's reared his rosy red nose) I figured a bit of extra fat only means better insulation.
With that in mind, I ordered one of the dirtiest buggers on the menu - the seasonal special: Toffee Apple Cheesecake High-Rise Shake.
I fully expected the shake to be the focal point and the cheesecake just a novelty add-on for effect. But you could have served that cheesecake at a gourmet patisserie and customers would be non-the-wiser - it was melt-in-your-mouth good and the toffee apple sauce made me feel and look like a kid again (I was practically licking the jam jar the thing was served in by the end.)
I was also pleased to discover all of the Black Milk cakes, brownies and even some of their sauces are home-made by them as fresh shake toppers, rather than bought in and vaccuum packed like you get in some places these days.
I went with a mate who had the Sticky Toffee Pudding Shake (salted caramel brownie milkshake topped with a FULL serving of warm sticky toffee pudding.)
It was disgustingly good - topped with piping hot fudge and chocolate sauce it was one of those moments when you know you shouldn't eat the whole thing but wild horses couldn't stop you. Some might say it's a little steep for a 'drink' at £7, but I thought it was a bit of a bargain for the size, quality, and consideration you won't need to eat for a week afterwards.
I wouldn't recommend daily visits (although they serve porridge - the temptation to top it with soft fat marshmallows, home-made brownies and hot chocolate sauce is far too strong) but for a treat or something a bit unusual for you to do with your mates or for a date, there's no cafe better.
They serve hot chocolate too - Himalayan mountain salt and dark chocolate, Madagascan vanilla and white chocolate and even Reeses pieces and milk chocolate are some of the choices to warm you up this Winter.