The 19 Stages Of A Lads Night Out In Your Thirties

A whole different ball game to your twenties...

Lads

1. The usual suspects are on the Whatsapp group early in the day

"Who's fer a pint laters?"

Whatsapp

2. The ones with kids and other responsibilities get their excuses in early

And they're secretly chuffed.

Sorry2

3. While others contemplate if the inevitable hangover is worth it

The 'thirties hangover.' A whole different beast to that perfectly manageable twenties version.

Think

4. There's the debate over which pub to go to

"We went there last week and it was SHITE."

Debate

5. There are those who can't wait and get the cans in at home

It's only 2 o'clock but what else is there to do?

Homerduff

6. While the sensible ones make sure they're getting food into them...

Ideally round mum's house

Raymond

7. Everyone gathers to watch the footy in the pub

Norwich City v Derby County you say? Well that's pretty unmissable.

Excellent

8. Which finishes about half seven so now everyone has to speak to each other

"Sooooo. How's the new job?"

9. A couple of more drinks and the banter begins in earnest

The harsher the insult the better. 

Messing

10. Those in relationships send sneaky affectionate texts to their loved ones

"Ya big sap!"

Sneakytexts

11. The deep and meaningful conversations begin

"I just feel like I'm never going to reach my potential, ya know?"

Talktome

12. Someone always goes home without telling anyone 

"Where's Joe? Oh for fuck sake."

Sneak

13. While one or two always get ideas about hitting the club 

"What's the worst that can happen?"

Club

14. But you arrive there and realise everyone's ten years younger than your crew 

What is this?

Oldmen

15. And the music is so loud that you can't have a conversation 

This is shite...

Pardon

16. The collective decision is made to go home

It is 1am, after all.

Letsgo

17. But not before stopping for food 

"Three kebabs, three cheeseburgers and six bags of chips please."

Foord2

18. You won't see each other for months so saying goodbye is hard

"Look after yourself, chief."

Scrubs

19. You retire to bed absolutely exhausted

Never again...

Sleep

Written By

James Fenton

Resident football writer, covering City, United and the rest of what the beautiful game brings to our city. I also moonlight in news, current affairs and emmm... burger reviews.

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