12 Places You Should Absolutely NOT Go For A First Date In Manchester
Romance is tough enough without ruining your chances on the very first date.
Yet so many of us misjudge the proper etiquette and end up at a venue which is not only wrong, it's a total snog-blocker.
Will Smith in Hitch managed to pull the girl after he brained her on his jetski - but he was Will Smith.
You're someone who needs all the help you can get.
So please, please, please - avoid these venues for date number one.
1. Cookery classes
Mr Smith didn't just brain his would-be babe Eva Mendes in Hitch - he also showed her his vulnerable side, after a seafood cookery class brought him out in unsightly lumps.
Beware allergies you don't yet know about - and looking like a tool in the kitchen.
2. Exercise classes
Fantastic day at the box today. Great atmosphere and turnout for Coach Amy's birthday WOD 'REDFERN' 2-11-19-22 KB Swings 24/16kg Russian Twist 20/15kg Plate GTOH 20/15kg DB Muscle Snatch 20/15kg *400m Run after each round #engine #gastank #crossfit #trafford #crossfittrafford #infinitifitness #m33 #manchester #boxlife
Getting hot and sweaty is, of course, the goal with romance, but not like this, and not when they've never had a chance to see you bleary-eyed pre-coffee with bed head and morning breath that would curdle milk.
3. Ice Skating
The giddiness of trying a new sport is a wonderful thing - but first-date concussion is not a good story to tell your grandkids. Try keeping your feet on solid ground.
4. Open mic night
If you want to go and laugh at/cry over/comment on the other performers are open mic, go ahead.
But don't whatever you do, make your date come and watch you warble Ben Howard-style or worse - take a John Bishop approach to comedy in front of an audience of three. Save the performance for when they're emotionally invested.
5. Trafford Centre
Firstly, you're not 14, so hanging out at 'the mall' is a wee bit lame. But also, no one is really going to be shopping - and if they are, and leave you outside on the benches, then date two is a no-go anyway.
See above - Maccie's is where teenagers go with their significant others. You can grab a burger post-club if you're past first base, but pre-kiss, this is not the impression you want to make.
8. Extreme sports
Parkour at Evolve is the UK's newest sport and makes practitioners like Sebastian Foucan look cool AF. But if you try it, you'll probably knock out one of your own teeth. Or worse, one of your date's own teeth. Avoid.
9. Old Trafford/Etihad
Why attempt to derail the romance before it's started by finding out they're a Dirty Red/Blue (delete as appropriate). Also, no one wants to see a love interest cry real tears when Pablo Zabaleta/Phil Jones give the ball away like a sap.
Going to the movies with a date in your schooldays is a rite of passage. After all, youâ€™ve exhausted everything you want to talk about in the queue for popcorn. But the only people who take first dates to the cinema are those who are socially awkward or worse - have nothing at all to say. Game over, Cupid.
11. Fairground rides
What fun, what larks, surely this is the ideal starter date? Try telling us that when you've got vomit-encrusted teeth after five hotdogs and as many spins on the waltzer. Next!
Already home to a plethora of emotions so difficult to unravel that they look like something the Andrex puppy left behind, weddings are a red alert for all. Take a first date and you are piling pressure on - even if marriage is the last thing on your mind - by expecting him to deal with the family, friends and baggage attached.