Earlier this week I discovered, to my horror, that Boohoo had willingly released a pair of Christmas wreath nipple covers. And no, it was not a joke apparently.
Let me remind you of those bad boys:
They are just as ridiculous as I remember and I can only think of three circumstances under which anyone would willingly purchase such a thing;
- You’re red wine drunk and doing some online shopping (not recommended) and think this would be a great purchase
- You have an enemy who you need to keep tabs on and the only way you can track them is to gift them nipple cover that jingle every time they move.
- You’ve mistaken these nipple covers for a cool and edgy festive top that you can wear out on the town. And if that is the case, then fair play to you. You go gurl!
Well, apparently, enough of you were drunk the other week and the darn things have gone and sold out. Which, I imagine, is the reason why boohoo have released more terrifying Christmas themed nipple covers.
I mean, just take a look at them.
The barely there accessory is bright red with a green bow and two very jingly bells in the centre. These would definitely make you look like you have two weirdly shaped nipples on each boob…which is not a look.
Should you wish to purchase these for whatever reason (honestly I cannot think of any reason other than the three clearly outlined above) well you are in luck. These guys are still in stock online and are currently only £4. You may as well buy them while they’re on sale and save that extra pound and put it towards something a little more useful.